Thinking Of You
by Bowllie
Summary: Sakuragi just can't stop thinking of Rukawa even now, after Rukawa told him to move on. Sakuragi finds his mind clouding with memories of Rukawa in the arms of another. Hanaru Warning: Kinda Sappy. Not too much I dont think.


**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Inoue-Takehiko.**

Thinking of You

I stood in front of the glass window in the early morning of sunrise. I sighed, wrapping myself with my arms as a way of comfort. I gazed directly out into the distance, feeling the ray of light blinding me; I blinked a few times and turned my gaze away to the floor at my feet.

I turned and glanced at the naked, feminine figure sleeping on my bed. She winced as the ray of light hit her eyes but continue to fell into slumber.

Why did it ended up like this? Why do I even have to do this? If only you were still here with me. If only you didn't have to go, Rukawa. Ever since you went to America, all I could think about is you. You're everywhere; I couldn't stop thinking of you.

I closed my eyes as I recalled that day:

_We were in my house, spending our usual night together. We lie on my bed together, completely content in each other's embrace. I leaned in slowly, brushing my lips against his lightly. He smiled as he responded with a kiss of his own. He pressed his lips hard on mine, devouring my lips almost possessively. I tried to pull away but he continued to kiss me deeply, cupping my chin so that I wouldn't escape easily. _

"_Rukawa…" I moaned in his mouth. Finally, after having to struggle so hard, he pulled away. I gasped for air, panting and breathing hard." Sorry" He apologized. I looked art him, "Are you okay Kitsune? " I asked. He tears his gaze away from mine, sighing. I sat up immediately and sat in front of him. I slowly reach out my hand and raise his head to look at me. His troubled icy blue eyes met my confused brown ones. _

"_Rukawa? You okay?" I asked again. He took his time before he finally said, "I am going to America." I smiled, "Finally huh…when you going?"_

"_Tomorrow. Morning." He replied. My eyes widened. Tomorrow? Morning?_

"_What time?" I asked. _

"_There's only a flight at 4:00 am." He mumbled. _

_There was silence between us and I tried to think. However, I couldn't, I merely sat there, in front of him with no words. _

_He reached out for my hand gently and held it in his own. "Why didn't you tell me?" _

"_Because…I didn't want to leave you." _

"_What's that suppose to mean! You are! "I couldn't control it; my irritation had suddenly taken over. _

"_I know…" He said lowly. "But it wouldn't do you any good either. If I had told you earlier, you wouldn't stop worrying." _

_I felt my heart sank into my stomach, like a sailboat sinking down into the deep ocean. I bit my lip as I tried holding in the tears from coming out. _

"_I am telling you now that you have permission to find someone new.' He spoke out suddenly. I stared at him disbelievingly as tears starts to roll slowly down my cheeks. He wants me to move on. He wants me to forget everything we've been through together. _

_This couldn't be real; this has to be a dream. _

"_I am sure you could find a replacement." He caress my hands. _

"_But—I…I don't want anyone else." I wiped the trail of tears sticking to my cheeks. "Yarou, I am fine with just you and me. _

"_What about Basketball? What about being the best? You know me well enough Hanamichi to know that I wanted this since freshman year in Shohoku." He said, looking into my tear-streaked eyes. _

"_I…I know." I frowned, nodding slowly. I always knew he was going to for America one day. I didn't know it had to be now. So soon. _

"_Forget about me."_

"_I can't…" _

"_You have to try." _

_He leaned in and sealed our goodbye in a tender kiss. _

_We gazed at each other for the last time as he got out of bed, put on his clothes and head for the door. I watched as he stopped and turned to me and smiled at me for the last time. _

_I sat there, completely shocked. _

Memories of us made itself present to me everyday. Everything I do….I would always recall.

"Hey Babe…" hands groped my chest as I turned around.

"What are you doing up so early? " She asked.

"Nothing. Just thinking. I couldn't really go to sleep." I replied.

"Something troubling you?" I shook my head, "Not really."

She smiled and pressed her lips hard against mine. I closed my eyes, but it wasn't her I taste…

_Rukawa…_

I would always imagine it was you kissing me, Rukawa. Not her. Never her. You. Always you. Your bubblegum tongue colliding with mine. Your soft tender lips pressing on mine deeply but gently.

She pulled away and gazed up at me. Her blue eyes smiled at my brown ones. Humph. Blue. It is like Rukawa's except that…Rukawa is always more icy blue and it always had some sort of confidence and indifference. The only eyes that I'd ever fall in.

She hugged me, wrapping her arms around my neck. "It feels so nice…" She purred. I simply smiled. Suddenly she trail kisses from my chest down to my stomach. I moaned lightly as she kissed back up to my chest and further up to my jaw until her lips met mine. I looked at her as she looked seductively at me. Her hands rest on my shoulders, slowly she pulls me in another devouring of the lips, this time deeper and more passionate. At that moment, I feel disgusted with myself. Disgusted for letting someone else touch me, for letting someone take your place.

I shouldn't have just let you go like that. I should have fight, forced you to stay with me. However, even I know you wouldn't sacrifice your chance and your dreams, your hard work for anyone. I wouldn't either. Maybe it's better if we weren't together in the first place. Maybe we should have just stayed as supposed rivals or maybe…just friends.

So that I wouldn't hurt this way.

Always thinking of you.

_Once I had the best, but now, I guess second best is all I will know._


End file.
